Programs & Services > Counselling > Relationships > Issues you may be facing
Issues you may be facing
Dealing with conflict
with a partner | Finding
more time to be with your partner | How
to keep your sexual relationship alive | Dealing with separation and divorce
Dealing with conflict with your partner
Relationships with the people we care about the most can often be the most challenging. Many people find that, during an argument, they end up saying things to their partner that they don't mean, leading to feelings of guilt and regret. As a result, many are afraid of even talking to their partner out of fear of starting another fight.
One thing that's important to remember is that conflict is a normal part of all relationships. Learning how to resolve conflicts and differences of opinion is a must for any relationship to flourish. If you and your partner are still committed to your relationship, it's important that you both acknowledge that this is a problem that must be addressed. It's more than likely that somewhere along the line, communication between the two of you has gone off track and you should take your share of the responsibility in order to work things through.
If you are unable to work things through, it is important to get professional help. Unresolved conflict may lead to physical and/or emotional abuse, emotional damage to your children, marital breakdown and separation.
FST counsellors will explore your situation with you individually or in marital/couple counselling as appropriate.
The following are a few ideas on how you can start the process:
- Pick a time when things are calm
and the two of you are relaxed and in reasonable spirits. Picking
the right time is the first step.
- Explain
that you really care about the relationship and you are
unhappy that the two of you are arguing more than you would like.
- Explain that you want things to be
different and you are willing to help make them different. Ask
your partner if he/she shares your perceptions of wanting to
reduce conflict and make conflicts serve a more productive purpose.
- Make a pact to stick to the issue when there is a difference of opinion and make every effort to
avoid personal attacks or discussing outside issues.
- Try to understand your partner's
point of view even if you don't agree with it. Repeat what
you are hearing back to your partner to see if you are hearing
it accurately. Everyone feels the need to at least be heard.
- If you find that you are getting no where, agree to set an issue aside for a while but remember to come back to it so that it doesn't continue to build.
